So yesterday I'm walking to the 99 cent store to get some water. As I'm crossing onto sunset i see this semi-cute middle aged guy kinda looking at me. I look back cause he was at least semi-cute from the curb. So i look back at him as i cross the street and smile.....kinda like goodbye. Innocent enough right? Wrong. As i continue up the street i turn around for a second and see his car following behind me. For some reason(i have no idea why....seeing as how this has happened before) i get freaked out so i just casually walk into a coffee shop on my right. I wait a couple of seconds till i see him turn the corner the coffee shop is on and walk back towards the 99 cent store. As soon i i stop at the crosswalk i see him flipping a bitch and coming back towards me. This time he spots me and makes a right back onto sunset and is again behind me. I try walking slow and see him pass me and turn at the next street. Part of me wants to think he got the point but the other half says cross the street. Guess which half i listened to? Well when i finally get to the corner he's there....stopped. He looks up at me as i cross the street and nods again. I nod back and kinda laugh at the weirdness of the situation and at the fact the he isn't really finding this weird. Once i get to the same side of street he's on the fool seriously stares me down leans over and opens his car door.
Now at closer inspection, he was kinda not bad looking. Why i didn't get in that car and have sex with him i can't be sure. All i do know is that it kinda bothered me that he would look at me from across the street and read my nod and smile as a green flag that i wanna fuck. What exactly am i putting out there that says I'm a whore. Its not that i am upset about coming off that way but more that I'm intrigued by the fact that i unintentionally put that vibe out there. That guys can tell i would or at least consider it. Thank god i wasn't drunk.
So other funny thing that happened is i stumbled across some old journals of mine. Page after page of angsty teen poetry. Embarrassing. I found two books neither of which were filled just random lines and short poems scribbled throughout them. Some were not as bad as others, alot of them (gulp) rhymed. So i figured I'd share a couple just for laughs. Keep in mind i was a very undersexed teen. I mean i got laid but if you know me now compared to then......i think i had the same sex drive just a different body. It's weird to read some of this stuff and try to pinpoint what events or people triggered these. Whats even weirder is to not even recognize yourself, maybe i hadn't figured that out yet...wait i still haven't. Whatever. Don't laugh.
Over my head
we are nothing more than this-
separate energies.
The sparks,
you thought,
you threw at me.
Remain to be unseen.
Let's run
I can run a mile or two-but get dizzy on my feet.
I can try to keep up with you-if you would wait for me.
I can chase your phantom heart-I'll remain unseen.
I'll let you come inside or me-infect me with disease.
I will take you all-in stride
I'll let you fill my space.
I'll play the roles you want me to
and let you have your way.
Now all i want from you is this-to feel your energy.
To run my hands along your sides-and fuck with symmetry.
California son
We count the cracks beneath our feet,
and hold hands in the sun.
Another day along the coast,
A perfect place for love.
How summer makes the heart light
and how soon i forget.
That love and glass-
two fragile things,
can pose the biggest threat.
We count on stars above our heads,
my California son.
We will never stay afloat,
when we're made to come undone.
If everything that's whole-will break.
Perfection will collapse.
So i let you do these things to me, and try to not react.
Ha ha. so that's all for now. I'll post more later. Back to work.
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