to live and die in LA

so this weekend brought me alot of alone time. With my room mate at coachella for 5 days i really had a chance to kinda re-think some of the story line. I kinda made a start or rather wrote what i assume will eventually be the beginning of the story. The main character is still unnamed and for the most part undeveloped. I'm getting really excited to see how this story unfolds. I'm notorious for starting things and not finishing but this one feels a little different. This time around I'm really trying to write what i know most about. I always say "when your on a date or speaking to someone your into you should always try to talk about something you know alot about that way there are fewer moments of awkward silence". I guess i should apply the same rule to writing. This is my first time writing a story kinda based on my own experiences so it's really weird to re-live some of these moments and look at it from a different angle. We'll just say i'll be pulling from some moments i'm not so proud of. I just feel like i have this story to tell....not cause i think people need to hear it but rather just as a way make sense of my mistakes. A way to own up to all the bad decisions and hopefully look at myself as someone completely new.

I swear I'll start posting some stuff once i feel better about it. Usually when i write ill write out a couple of pages then go back line by line and reword things. So it can take some time before I'm kinda content with the way it sounds. Lots of new material to write about. This weekend was kinda crazy. I met this guy who i have met before but because i hooked up with his boyfriend awhile back(they have an open relationship so no negative feelings)we haven't really ever talked. This time around his boyfriend left the bar early, i think he was too fucked up, and we had a chance to talk. Turns out he's actually really cool, actually alot cooler than his boyfriend. ha ha. We ended up fooling around a bit but not really having sex, which was fine, only we drank and consumed so much shit i really thought i might die. To top it off the next night when my room mate got home we decided to go out. Basically i did the same amount if chemicals as the previous night and basically blacked out. I heard stories of my puking in the parking lot of the echo but cant seem to clearly recall anything before the car ride. Either way i had an awesome time. Definitely one of the nights where i felt the city around me. Almost as if LA was the 4th person with us, providing the momentum for the evening. I sometimes get these moments where i feel like what is happening in that second couldn't happen anywhere else in the world and it makes me appreciate what we have here. I want to capture what it's like to be here in this point in time. Living with this certain set of rules that wont apply in 5 years time or in another environment. I want to get across the duality of the city. How sometimes the things that hurt you can be the things that remind you you're alive. "Anything that may delay you...might just save you". We're in a city that is so unlike any other place, that not really being either good or bad. It just is.