whats your man got to do with me?

I promised i would write out what had happened to me a couple of nights ago. Now first off this pattern i have been falling into recently of meeting guys with boyfriends doesn't seem to be changing at all. As a matter of fact another one just told me last night. Has a boyfriend in San Fransisco. Its funny how guys can suddenly out of nowhere get a conscience, just like that. Now there has been no pressure on my end and i certainly didn't do anything that would lead them to believe i was after any sort of real relationship, friendship with benefits, probably. Either way i can't shake the feeling I'm paying off some bad karma, now the question is what is it i have to change in order to restore balance. If it happened once or twice, no big deal, coincidence most likely. But i think I'm about hit the 6 point mark soon. Again I'm not one to complain or even care but 5 in a row kinda concerns me. Am i wrong to feel so?

Anyways back to the point. So i believe it was Monday night i decide, just having had a whole day off to recover from pride, to go out and have a drink and possibly.....well i was open for something to happen. Usually when i go out alone or with the intention to hookup i try not to talk to anyone for to long. If I'm not immediately interested i just walk away after the first lapse in conversation. For some reason that night i was talking to this guy who wouldn't leave me alone. So I'm relieved when i thought i saw a familiar face to save me. It turns out to be this guy i had met a couple months earlier. Now i have to kinda sidetrack for this story, the way we met was to awesome to not include. The first night i met him i was alone as usual and smoking on the outdoor patio. I noticed him cruising me thru the windows that face the patio, he was playing pool and ridiculously drunk. He had tattooed sleeves and a very "fuck you attitude" which is usually a turn-off to me but it just worked on him, the boy wore it well. i was digging the entire package. Now this guy that was also outside smoking kinda saw me looking in at him and motioned for me to come over. Always hesitant of random guys creeping in dark corners of gay bars spreading rumors, i nod and stay where i am. I had a feeling he was going to say something about him, and honestly i didn't care. After a second glance his way he gives up on the idea of me coming to him and simply puts his hands out palm to palm about a foot apart. I kinda laugh and realize he's trying to tell me he has a big dick. Almost a couple of seconds later he comes outside with a camel sticking out of his mouth. For some reason when guys can smoke without taking the cigarette from their mouth i instantly want to fuck them. I could feel it in my stomach, he was gonna speak. I look up to acknowledge i see him before he says a word. He asks if i play pool and i say i haven't drank enough to play good. With a half-smile he asks what I'm drinking and turns to the bar to get my stoli tonic. I stand there nervous about having to play pool when his friend he came with starts talking to me. He then tells me they met thru his best friend who happens to be the hot guys boyfriend. So maybe this one is my fault since i knew before hand. They are in a relationship he goes on to tell me but are allowed to fuck around. We both agree that neither of us could ever be in a situation like that but he says they have made it work and have done so for quite sometime. At that point he had returned with my drink and i was starting to feel one up on him. Not only did i know he had a boyfriend but his boyfriends best friend was sitting right there. I take a gulp of the drink and start to feel a little more confident in playing him. He looks over at me and asks what he gets if he wins, he says if he wins i have to show him my dick. I instantly say no and kinda laugh. Walking around the pool table to my side he leans in close and says OK, how about if i win i get to take you out next week and if you win I'll show you my dick... he cocks his head to one side and says but i still wanna take you out next week. I had to laugh at his eagerness to show the entire bar his dick and id be lying if i said i wasn't dying to see if the creepy guy was lying or not. 2 vodka tonics later i had surprised both of us and actually won. As promised i was flashed some dick and the creepy guy was wrong, it was bigger, well at least thicker than i imagined. ha ha. He never did take me out but in all fairness i guess i should finish the rest of the story. I'm sure you'll understand why we didn't.

So back to last Monday. I see him and he approaches me with the same drunken cockiness i still found hot. I wasn't that drunk maybe 2 drinks into the night. He asks me how I've been and why i haven't called him. I say i i took his number out of my phone cause he never called. He laughs pulls out his phone and calls my number, there now you have it again he says. I ask how he's been, he bitches about work as do i. Then the conversation turns to our phantom date. I have to admit i kinda wondered why he hadn't called me. We both live in the same hood and he was obviously into me. He starts talking about how fucked up i was the last time he saw me. I reply back about how i kinda remember kicking his ass at not only pool but a game of pinball. He laughs and said no the other time. This is the point where i usually start to get worried. What time? i hesitantly ask. He said i would have left with you guys but i don't do that shit anymore and he's not really my type. I'm sure the look of confusion on my face was the reason for his huge smile.......Fuck guys i have to go home. The train is waiting. i swear i will finish up tomorrow. not much of it left. I'm tired....last night was a complete waste of energy and time. Didn't get much sleep so I'm hoping i don't get the itch to go out tonight. Promise i will post tomorrow. Till then.