I know I'm wrong and right

So its been a hot minute since i've written anything in here. I've been busy, lots going on...moving blahblahblah. Anyways just thought i'd finally check up on you all and post a little something, Yes work is that dull today. The other day i was wathing MTV(a new luxury while in my transitional stage) and was surprised at some of the videos they were playing. It seems as though the underground is peeking its head out and feeling its way around the pop landscape. Not to say that MTV is supporting anything even remotly interesting but i am noticing a definite influence which i think has more to do with the current state of the record industry than the want to promote anything worthwhile. Either way i did notice that while alot of mainstream "rock and pop" music has had a slight turn towards self production and a semi DIY ethic, the world of hip-hop seems to be going the oppisite direction. Seeing people like Kanye at the forefront riding on some sort of guise of independent thought makes me sad that the people that are doing it different, blazing a new path are often not really acknowleged as much. While i'm a big fan of hip hop i find that most of it i dont buy based on the simple fact that i cant relate to it. It seems odd that having grown up in the same "inner city" enviroment that alot of these rappers say they are portraying, i stil don't respond to about 70% of it.

One exception to the game is my girl Jean Grae. A huge part of the reason im a huge fan is the things she speaks about in her songs. There is no label dropping, there is no bragging about a lifestyle many of her fans will never know. Instead she speaks about being broke, being drunk, and being a bit of a work in progress. It's hard to believe that Jean Grae is poor, but she is, and will usually be the first to admit it. Near-poverty is a reality for a lot of struggling rappers, something the general public is largely unaware of. Says Grae, "I was reading some Web site the other day about how artists like Jean Grae can still live comfortably making $70,000 a year, and I was like, 'Whoa...is this the other Jean Grae?...because I want to make $70,000 a year!'"

"I want a chance to play," Grae continues, "I just want a chance to play on my own terms." This independence and refusal to compromise, while admirable, may be the reason why she has yet to experience the fruits of labor one would expect a person with such immense talent would already have. "It's not like I'm choosing to go left," she explains. "I just don't know how to do the formula. I honestly don't know. If I could do it, I probably would be, but I just don't know how."

She also expresses an understanding that like punk, and dance music it isnt always about lyrical/musical talent. "I definitely understand that it's easier to love celebrity and love the life," she states. "That's sort of an illusion of what your life could be, and that's what sells...that's what drives. If I were living a different lifestyle, I might be talking about that. Since I'm not, I have to talk about what I know."

Here are the lyrics and Mp3's of some songs that i've been listening too alot. Both of these i love maining for the lyrical content. The first song "dont rush me'(which is off her album "this week") discusses how a knowlege of self can be the antidote to all the insecurities the world can ignite indside of you. The second "You, Me, All of us" talks about social conciousness, about realizing your part in the process towards working towards a solution. I feel the message of the song is that the best you can do to help things progress and move foward is to keep to your path, to your truth, kinda linking back to the first track. Hope you enjoy the tracks...go down to the bottom to download...peace bitches.



Dont Rush Me-Jean Grae

[Intro]
...Sometimes you got to get to know yourself
You gotta travel a little bit
Look at yourself from another perspective
So I try to do that
Come on

[Verse 1]
Listen, there's nothing like knowin' yourself
Like the way I know that smokin's kind of broken my health
Like the way I know my flow don't make appropriate wealth
I can't change that
But funny I'm sayin' that when it's money I'm aimed at
I give a fuck if you frame that or quote it (shit)
I meant what I said cuz I wrote it, point noted
I know I'm overly sensitive when it comes to, well
Just about everything
And I'm so hardheaded, I don't need your help
Like no advice for these records 'less it's me, myself
Like I don't ever want to breathe if it requires assistance
Just, just shut down my system
I'm a victim of choosin' bad love, bad luck Lucy
Every man touched seems to be a doozy and plus
I'm attached to this looseleaf, stand on my two feet
So it's hard enough to even have to physically move me
Go ahead, try

[Hook]
I know I'm on the right path
To who I'm gonna be at last
Don't rush me nigga
I know I'm wrong and right
At the same time, both I'm the dark and light
And they say life needs everything to live
At the same time I got everything to give
Just don't rush me
Don't rush me

[Verse 2]
I gotta be more disciplined
I'm listenin' more to straight logic
Blockin' random shit that's driftin' in
Age is a motherfucker (damn right)
Find myself starin' at the little kids
Thinkin' "I can beat 'em like a stepmother"
Creepin' on a come up at thirty soon
But lookin' twenty ooh
The food catches up to you now plenty
Attendin' christenin's of my best friend's children
And then askin' who's next
And I'm wishin' for six more wishes for Christmas or
Kids on the wish list
Or time machines to be in existence
I'm a team player, not
The dry wit is similar to Arizona weather
Say it, nigga, hot
Patent leather sole, tappin' at my bowl
If the album's not platinum then I'll have to rack a gold
This rappin' ain't for nothin'
Unless I hold plaques so I can sit up on a boat like Colin, roll that
And you know that

[Hook]
I know I'm on the right path
To who I'm gonna be at last
Don't rush me nigga
I know I'm wrong and right
At the same time, both I'm the dark and light
And they say life needs everything to live
At the same time I got everything to give
Just don't rush me
Don't rush me

[Verse 3]
See this here is the most serious that I've ever been
The most clear headed
My gear fetish clearly needs an accountant
So if I need I'll smoke 'em all like Dennis Leary in a mountain
Beef's great though, thanks for addin' more insecurities
Just as I was findin' my level of maturity
Just as I was mindin' my business
Tried to murder Jean's confidence
But lucky for me, you're all incompetent
Road block in this, yes
I see him try to put a stop to my obnoxiousness but
I stay long winded like sayin' George Papadopoulous
I know but I write from this heart with this
So I've got some things to work on
My moodiness like masturbation gets its jerk on
My fascination with the fast pace
Money's encapsulated in my mind space like what a thrill
Past dated and I know I'm not in last place
But it's hard to work through it with this masked face
And maskin' tape on all the windows keeps the cold out
And everytime I'm layin' down my back breaks because it's old now
I yell too much, get stressed too quick
But the best thing about it, I can change that shit
And still remain who I came down to Earth to be
It's not Jean Grae, that's just a name, you'll see

[Hook]
I know I'm on the right path
To who I'm gonna be at last
Don't rush me nigga
I know I'm wrong and right
At the same time, both I'm the dark and light
And they say life needs everything to live
At the same time I got everything to give
Just don't rush me
Don't rush me




You, Me, All of us-Jean Grae

[Hook]
[You] Gotta get your damn hand up
[Me] Must keep on giving my all until
[All of us] Got it locked for real, and stay strong till the truths revealed
Keep on my niggas...

[You] Gotta get your paper tight
[Me] Gotta get my paper right until
[All of us] Then invest get it back, stay flippin it, they doin it
Heads up nigga...

[You] Stay maintaining this rock
[Me] Must speak truth, every drop
[All of us] Still stay running from the cops
ya'll know aint nothing changed much...

[You] Gotta know who you are and
[Me] Must take this further man till one day
[All of us] We can all stand strong together
and no man is ???, no not ever

[Verse]
I see the responsibility
I'm clever-er than most others
don't smother, these bars
I don't clutter it with garbage
Won't mutter it unless its simply marvelous
Ang i need to know im a part of this
Rennisance-Shift over the marketin
Wont bother me, hardly
My mind, since back to starvin
Part partial to startin
Huge riots started by new br(i)-ats
Move out the way biatch or end up in triage
We got more this year
Severe rain increased the flame
Little bit highter
So fire slips out the frame
Untill i retire, thats never
yall can remain ambivalent
Cause from this point nothings changed the sentiment
Quitting is now just hard to say like cinnamon


[Hook]
[You] Gotta know when its time to stand up
[Me] Must keep everybody crunk
[All of us] Must speak when want, don't sleep its important
Trust i wouldnt lie to ya

[You] Must get your hands in the sky
[Me] Will keep this party live until
[All of us] Fall out
Now its time for some of yall to get called out

[Verse]
I gotta build every record, keep reachin
Lover of free speech
Fucker of these beats
Bubbling names
Struggle fame made stronger by
Ducking our aim
Sucking pain
I'll bomb your chain
Right off your torso, and also
Disconnect your neck from your poor throat for
Tryin to take mine
Glory and my shine
You'll get floored till your pourin it south
beyond permanant pause at the coroners house
Time is the case
And i'm on a fine pace
In a line so proper from my momma i'm laced
And my pockets got poppin
but i'm on the paper chase
And i don't fuck around, you better shut your mouth
Till me, spill rounds, all us running out
I've got a cunning mouth
You got a cunt in yours
i'm out

[Hook]
[You] Gotta get your damn hand up
[Me] Must keep on giving my all until
[All of us] Got it locked for real, and stay strong till the truths revealed
Keep on my niggas...

[You] Gotta get your paper tight
[Me] Gotta get my paper right until
[All of us] Then invest get it back, stay flippin it, they doin it
Heads up nigga...

[You] Stay maintaining this rock
[Me] Must speak truth, every drop
[All of us] Still stay running from the cops
ya'll know aint nothing changed much...



Dont Rush Me MP3-Jean Grae

You, Me, All of us MP3-Jean Grae

when you are not a girl nobody buys you flowers

Been awhile since i posted anything new so i decided to post a little something. This past weekend turned out to be more expensive and fun that i anticipated. Went to see Dj Colette at Deep on Sunday night, very awesome. I'll be sure and post something about her later in the week but today i was really excited to discover Emilie Simon. One of the more obvious comparisons I've been reading about is bjork but i think more on a visual level that a sonic one. I actually had never heard of her but while at amoeba this past weekend the CD cover caught my eye(the picture above). I think maybe a staff member had recommended it so they had placed a little card with a brief description of the album, They used the words "creepy lullabies" and "Nordic but sung in french and English" so i read on, once i saw she covered "i wanna be your dog" i was sold. Best discovery of the month. Here are some videos and a couple of songs to download. enjoy bitches!!!


Emilie Simon - Dame de Lotus


Emilie Simon - Fleur de Saison


Emilie Simon - Flowers


Emilie Simon - I Wanna Be Your Dog


Downloads:

Emilie Simon-I Wanna Be Your Dog

Emilie Simon-Dame de Lotus

Emilie Simon-Fleur de Saison

Emilie Simon-Song of the Storm

POPlife

Beacuse i've recently shut off my cable i have turned to blogs as a replacement for E!. My favorite being d-listed. I don't know what it is about perez hilton(ok yes i do its, his hair and the fact that i see him at too many god damn shows) but i just really can't handle his blog. Anyways, this guy is just as bitchy and doesn't have hair like someone from the jetsons. It's just another way to pass time at work, but something i saw this morning completely shocked me. Now i thought lauryn hill was laying low now adays but apparently shes not...why this bitch isnt all across the covers of people and us weekly is beyond me. This is what my boy from d-listed had to say:

"Ronald McDonald's secret love child is that you? No, it's Lauryn Hill! Seriously, Lauryn doesn't give a fuck! Or maybe she does and that's why she put this heinous outfit together. I'm into it though. I can handle the crazy. Someone really needs to give this woman her own reality show STAT."

I couldn't agree more. i'd actually consider turning my cable back on if she got her own show.

i am no good for you

i just saw this video for sia's new single and i am absolutely loving this shit. The song is great, yes, but the video is fucken genius. It reminds me more of her first album tittled "healing is difficult" that wasnt realesed in the US. I'm sure by now it's a little easier to find but it came out a little before her single "destiny" with zero 7 blew the fuck up. That whole album made me fall in love with her. Majority of the songs are about being fucked up or breaking up with someone whos fucked up. "breathe me" was a great single and an amazing song but i kinda felt like i wanted the sia i fell in love with back. Hopefully this song is some kinda of indication that she is. Here's a couple of songs from the first album. Enjoy...if you want.

So it seeems the assholes at Universal have restricted embedding the video so here is a link and the live version
Sia-Buttons Video



Get me-Sia

I'm not important MP3-Sia

Healing is Difficult-Sia

don't forget your on your own

Lately I've been getting really bored with dance music in general. Seems everyone is forgoing vocals for a repetitive "vocal sample" that is synthesized and distorted. Yesterday i decided to come to work early and work a little overtime, after the first couple of hours i was already looking for diversions when i stumbled across Marsheaux. They kinda remind me of client. Not just for the obvious reason, i mean yes they are two hot girls playing catchy synth pop music but with titles like "dream of a disco" and "what a lovely surprise"...i had a sense that i was gonna love them. Once i heard the cover of promise i was sold...that song has always been able somehow transport me back to high school for some reason. Love it. Repping a label i have never heard(Undo Records), they apparently have 2 albums both available for purchase on their myspace. I am so getting my hands on a copy fo sho'....way to excited about finding this band. To top things off when i came in to work today(another early day) Cheri sent me links to their videos on youtube. Watch and cream boys.



hanging on



Popcorn



pure

Another great find yesterday is the band Itenef. Big up s to fucken Greece for beings so god damn sexy. These guys have more of a history in the electronic music world. before becoming Itenef the went by the name Trance 95 in the mid 80's. Drawing less from bands like Soft Cell and Depeche Mode, they sound more like a really sexy Kraftwerk or a more human Cabaret Voltaire. I wasn't able to find any videos other than one they released while still trance 95.



Desire to desire 88

So with all that said i guess my love of synth pop will never die. Guess I'll just anxiously await a time when people realize pop doesn't have to mean devoid of emotion and depth. I'll end with my absolute favorite synth pop band of all time SOVIET. i would have this mans babies if it were possible. Love at first listen for me.



breakdown


Soviet-Breakdown mp3. in case you wanna download it. Peace bitches

time has come today

The time has finally come, as some of you that know me know that i have been waiting for these bitches to announce the LA date for the upcoming MIA tour. I finally got word yesterday and immediately bought my ticket...should have bought 2 but wasn't thinking thru all the excitement and blood rushing to my head. If you hadn't heard she is touring with some amazing talent. First off my girl Santi White who has since the breakup of her band Stiffed has started a solo project. I have heard the word MC being thrown around and while that is kinda accurate Santogold is so much more than that. Almost sounding like a completely different band she is moving into the world of dance music. The first time i heard it i thought it was very M.I.A.-esqe but alot of the songs switch up musical styles from dancehall, to indie pop and hip hop. Seriously i may be even slightly more excited to see her seeing as how i was never able to catch stiffed while they were together. Either way she was a perfect choice for a opening act. I'm assuming Amanda Blank will go on first seeing as she has the least amount of exposure as of yet. She is someone i would consider more along the lines of an MC but equally as brilliant of a choice for an opening act. The 3 women represent a new school of DIY genre-hopping artists. They will be at the echoplex in echo park on the 30th. I'm hoping to get there as early as possible to not miss any of these 3. If you haven't gotten tickets yet there may still be some available online but i did hear that they would also have some at the door the night of the event.

Also on a completely different topic I was chatting with my girl Cheri talking about what the fuck they're putting in baby formula now adays. Seems kids are not only hotter and seem more grown faster but they are also more in the know then alot of people my age. Its crazy, I attribute it to the internet. I mean yes, it was available when we were younger but not used by so many people as today. You can really know just about everything going on in the underground if you have the time to look...and who has more free time then teenage kids so i guess it makes perfect sense. Anyways 2 notable teens doing the damn thing i found online today are rye rye a 16 year old rapper/dancer out of Baltimore,MD. Check out the song "shake it to the ground" and "reasons"....bitch straight sampled earth, wind and fire. If that's not impressive for a 16 year old girl i don't know what is. Just take a look at her musical influences and you get an idea of what I'm talking about. While on her page i got linked to Makrophone another kid not even old enough to buy tobacco related products. Check out his remixes of Pull up the people by MIA and Brooklyn Lovin' by the late great Biggie. Seriously me and cheri were both creaming over the MIA remixes and I'm usually not a big fan of remixes but he did a great job. The thing is it isn't over done...he's not shoving his hipness down our already over stuffed throats. I was just impressed at the amount of talent and the knowledge of music these kids have seemed to posses at such a young age. Makes me feel like i wasted my teen years obsessing over Tori Amos B-sides. haha. Peace out heffas.

so ready to surrender

Here we go. So it's been quite sometime since i have posted anything. No particular reason just have been going thru alot lately. Nothing life changing...well not exactly. I just mean its not that i have alot going on around me, just inside. So far 26 has brought a big shift in the way i look at things, myself, and the people around me. For the first time in my life i feel the burn from sticking my hands straight into the fire, in other words.....time to face the consequences of my actions. It amazes me the shit i was getting away with when i think back just a few short months ago, the way i was able to completely alter my reality. I had a few major wake up calls that i wont get into but the product of all my mindless selfish behavior has been to big to ignore. The biggest outcome has been the fact that i have made the decision to leave silverlake behind me and move to Long beach(my old stomping grounds....he he). I'm not unhappy with the decision, its just the way that it happened really shook me up....or rather woke me up.

So with all that madness going on i really had sometime to rethink my life. My future.....ha ha, may even have been a first for me. I really have made some decisions to change and have some goals I'd like to reach, both short and long term. A big part of this, maybe the word big gives it to much credit, but a part of this has been brought on by someone i have met. I guess to an extent we are in some sort of relationship although its not the typical definition of a "boyfriend", but i am for the first time very happy with my choice to keep focus on this one man. It hasn't been all easy, but it was or is no where near as difficult as i once imagined. He is in no way the type of person i thought i would end up being serious about. I don't even really think its him exactly, there were alot of things like i said that happened prior to us meeting that had shifted my path. I just think he gave me a reason to do it without fear of judgement.

So without getting to detailed i am very happy with the changes taking place inside me. As you can probably imagine this does certainly change my story. I no longer want to relate to the person i was writing about. I mean the whole idea behind my story was this kid running around in a place that almost applauded his awful behavior. I wanted him to get through it severely damaged but the same person, the point was that life doesn't judge or punish much like the way i imagine god. I can see now that that was me, running around with my eyes closed secretly hoping i didn't hit anything....too hard. To the outside world it may have seemed i was being careless or even worse just didn't care. But truthfully i had weighed my options, and faced my consequences in advance. I had already prepared and sort of mentally buried myself. I was just waiting for the physical world to catch me if it could, all i had been doing for the past couple of years was running. Not towards or from anything, but just sorta living in fast forward. Why? i cant really be sure but i am now to tired to keep the same pace.

My friend Wendy once gave me this book for my birthday a long time ago. Just a blank book but she had cut out images and put in quotes and stuff. Probably one of the greatest gifts i have ever received. Well anyways, there was this one quote that has stayed with me all these years later. It said "the key to happiness is learning to let go". Now that may sound pretty fortune cookie to most but at the time it struck me really hard. I imagine cause at that time i was really unhappy with myself. So i almost perfected the art of letting go...of starting over. I found that book a couple of weeks ago and it hit me just as hard as the first time that i had totally misunderstood it. Well maybe i had gotten it but just a very small part. I had taught and convinced myself that if i never really thought of anything as mine it wouldn't hurt to loose it. So i lived a long time in that mind frame. I learned to let it all go, money, relationships, people, actions. The thing was i was only thinking of things in the physical sense. Now as i stand before this new person in my life and admit for the first time not wanting to let it go, i feel that maybe the person who was being quoted meant it more in terms of letting go of yourself, of your pride, of fears. This is a big thing for me now, to not look back or worry what happens next. To just let it all go and fall towards something instead of away. Maybe again, this all sounds very simple but fuck it...i'm a simple guy.

I do promise to try write more often on here for any of you that have been periodically checking. The content may be a little less exciting but i still do very much wanna start getting this story out of me. The shape of it has altered dramatically but its still itching to get out. I'm not even sure how exactly all this will lend itself to what I'm writing but i know that it will. I had this idea that i wanted the story to be if i was thinking of it in a visual sense more like porn that a movie. Haha...yeah like really well written artsy porn. I still in a way imagine it that way but, well we'll see what happens. Ultimately my charachter is more like a vessel than a person, just a container, he is transparent and open. To him there is no right or wrong, only truth and lies. To him the future is a concept not a guarantee. That is something i still honestly believe.